Episode 1
ASHDTV
June 20, 2004
A delivering mishap and some dishonesty on Sparks' part pockets Sealab a brand new Asteroid Smasher/High-definition Television. Unfortunately, the ASHDTV was supposed to go to Spacelab so they could destroy an asteroid hurtling towards the earth.
Episode 2
Chalkboard Jungle
June 27, 2004
Dr. Quinn teaches Debbie Love's class of 4th-graders including Fatass McBlobbicus, while having to deal with Tornado Shanks' warped and unscientific view of education. The classic story "The Scarlet Ibis," by James Hurst, is ripped off as part of a classroom discussion of death. All the while, cuts are made between Debbie Love's classroom and the spa Love is visiting, creating a series of double entendres.
Episode 3
Dearly Beloved Seed
July 4, 2004
The last of Captain Shanks' brothers (who are all named for mythical Greek heroes) dies from a heart attack while taking a dump; all the while, Hesh and Debbie Dupree get married.
Episode 4
Craptastic Voyage
July 11, 2004
Quinn, White Debbie, and "He Who Smokes Bitches" Stormy Waters venture deep into Tornado Shanks to destroy a malignant tumor in Captain Shanks' head.
Episode 5
Let 'Em Eat Corn
July 18, 2004
Tornado Shanks declares Sealab a sovereign nation in order to be his own tax haven. A wave of secession fever sweeps through the entire crew, with a half-dozen nations declaring themselves independent in a few minutes; with the help of two British businessmen, they are all soon armed with missiles allegedly loaded with nuclear warheads. When push comes to shove and every Sealab nation declares war on every other one, however, the nukes all turn out to be duds.
Episode 6
Neptunati
July 18, 2004
Stormy's meddlesome inquisitiveness uncovers Shanks' membership in a world-controlling society.
Episode 7
Isla de las Chupacabras
November 14, 2004
A team-building exercise goes horribly wrong when the Sealab crew are attacked by Chupacabras.
Episode 8
Joy of Grief
November 21, 2004
A grief counselor tries to help the Sealab crew through a hard time.
Episode 9
Green Fever
November 28, 2004
Zombies ravage Sealab as Debbie plans her (fifth) 30th birthday party.
Episode 10
Sharko's Machine
December 5, 2004
Marco's illegitimate son applies for a job on Sealab. Can he pass the civil service exam with Debbie and Quinn helping?
Episode 11
Return of Marco
December 12, 2004
Marco died three episodes ago. What's he doing back? Later, Marco and Debbie sing Antônio Carlos Jobim's "Waters of March" in Portuguese.
